I’ve been on my diploma journey for a few years, and hit a bit of a post half-way funk. Why am I doing this? Why has it become so burdonsome? What can I do to get going again? Do I want to carry on? These were amonst the questions on loop, in my head. Like many people I am demand avoidant, easily distracted, a productive procrastinator and find the slightest absurd excuse for not doing what I am supposed to do.
I really don’t like having unfinished jobs, yet the thought of working on my projects fills me with anxiety. I am feeling guilty about not progressing as I said I would, and feeling completely overwhelmed.

Enough is enough. I need to put my empowerment pants on, pull them right up and crack on…..but how?

Stepping Stones

Step one – grab the design web cards from the Permaculture Design Deck (thanks Delvin)

Step two – make a brew

Step three – Draw a random card, consider my thoughts around it and make scribbles on a bit of paper. Continue until all cards have been drawn.

Step four – have another brew, and a bikkie whilst considering the scribbles

Be a bit Baldrick … have a cunning plan

One thing was clear, having set myself projects, a timeline and an Action Learning Pathway, was actually putting me off rather than spurring me on. I need to have a more flexible approach.

• I will ignore my own self imposed demands and go with the flow a bit more.

So, I need to continue, slowly, with small steps.

• I will finish off any tweaks to designs I have already completed, to remind myself that I do know what I am doing, and stop comparing myself to other people. This is my work, for my diploma.

The diploma can be a lonely place, often working alone with self imposed constraints. I’d like to work WITH someone on a project; Share the buzz of appreciation with another person. I might learn more about myself, and my strengths in doing this, and get to discuss ideas with another person rather than with myself of the dog.

• I will ask the wider community if anyone wants to work on a collaborative design.

• I will set out my own principles that will guide me through the rest of the process.

• I will take small steps, and revisit this design until I have a design I can work with.